Negotiating a salary

[ousdahl]

advice pls

[randylahey]

https://youtu.be/zWI0WdETaR8

[Deleted User 863]

JFC. This is an epic troll job.

[Deleted User 863]

Honest advice: break up with her and ask Plano or Japhy for a job.

[TDub]

Use they/them. Ask to be CEO so you can golf and do nothing. Make sure there are no sinks you'll be responsible for, tell them your first move is to pay the entry level positions more than you make. Ensure you'll have ample time available during the day to post ridiculousness on Kcrim.

Make sure to emphasis that ALL of your salary will be donated to the community and that you'll expect, in return, the community will determine how much is required for you to live reasonably well.

Wear your Adidas sweatsuit.

voila....bank time.

[randylahey]

advice pls

Put on your best pair of grey sweatpants

[Deleted User 863]

[RainbowsandUnicorns]

This thread already has HOF caliber stuff written all over it.
Well done guys!

My advice - Tell the person/people you are negotiating with that you are asking people on crimson.com for advice and show them all of your 23,000+ posts on here.
My guess is either the person/people you are negotiating with give you credit and offer you a million a year or they tell you they are going to go a different route and hire someone else - and nothing in-between other than maybe stunned silence for a long period of time.
Good luck!

[ousdahl]

Good advice, thanks everyone.

And to think, for a minute there it seemed like you guys wanted to spend my entire career accommodating yall’s early checkins.

[ousdahl]

For real tho, I have a number in mind.

And also have the mindset to just add a few grand to whatever they offer even if it is as good as/better than my number.

But, what then?

Are they likely to just fork it over? Will they give me some runaround about having to run it by the budget committee? Will they hard ball me and say take it or leave it? Will they notice my chub through the gray sweat pants? I dunno.

[Deleted User 863]

Who fucking knows. Every employer is different. Every offer is different. Every candidate is different.


Personally, I wouldn't pay you a dime to do anything for me, no offense. Just not the type of employee I'd look for. You likely cultivate a negative work environment for coworkers because you're a malcontent.

[randylahey]

All employees are negative to some degree. Ous might bitch a lot but he does so with a sense of humor. Id hire him. He's not as big a snowflake as some of the rest of ya.

Let that chub shine ous

[Deleted User 863]

Negativity in the workplace is contagious.

[defixione]

Having met Ous, on numerous occasions and varying circumstances, if he applied to work for my company I'd hire him in a nanosecond. Chub or not.

[Deleted User 863]

There you go Q!

When opportunity knocks, answer the door.

[defixione]

Sorry, Illy, my employment is not his line of work.

[Deleted User 863]

Sorry, Illy, my employment is not his line of work.

Ahh, requires hardwork and accountability?

If we are being honest, it sounds like he could use a change in "line of work" and "location of work". Not sure why he'd rule anything out as unhappy as he seems with his worklife.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CmVXkYgA ... M4ZDc5MmU=

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CmXX9diA ... M4ZDc5MmU=

[japhy]

advice pls

Let's start with the obvious. If anything you say in an interview sounds like you get your job interview advice from r/antiwork, you are wasting your time.

Do you want the job? Is it a career position? Is it a change of location or career?

[randylahey]

Having met Ous, on numerous occasions and varying circumstances, if he applied to work for my company I'd hire him in a nanosecond. Chub or not.

Him having a chub is obviously what you're hiring him for

[ousdahl]

Do you want the job?

sure!

Is it a career position?

It's the kind of job that would make even Illy say, whoa ous I'm impressed you landed this, so...I think so?

Is it a change of location or career?

no change of location, and not a change of career in the sense it's what my degree is for and what I've done before.

but honestly, actually kinda bummed it's NOT a change of location and/or career. I mean let's face it, no one actually has a passion for the "business" world, and "business school" is a fucking joke. and as far as overcommercialized mountain towns, a big part of me is ready for something else.

But in some general sense I'm excited to get paid very well for what might very well be a super chill gig under the pretense of "professional." I think it'll mostly just be like stocking the break room with donuts and such.

like for real, I have very little idea what this job even involves. The interview questions have all been generic as fuck, but they seem to like my answers, and keep acting impressed with me and calling for more interviews, so I'm rolling with it.

but it IS a change in the sense I stand a good chance of actually getting what my education and experience are worth...but that mostly depends on if I negotiate it right this time, hence the OP