CorporateSpeak

[jhawks99]

I thought we had a thread on this but I can't find it. What are your CS pet peeves?

I heard a new one today. Calendaring. Like a verb. WTF, my spellcheck even thinks it's ok.

[Mjl]

"Resource" (when talking about a person)

[ousdahl]

Man, where to begin.

If a company, whether during an interview or an orientation, says “we’re like a family here,” RUN.

Also any sort of “stress management” or “work/life balance” or “avoiding burnout” or other such HR seminar (attendance for which is mandatory, and unpaid over your lunch break)

Also LOL at…nm

[PhDhawk]

Had a boss who would always talk about "streamlining workflows"

Hate "put a pin in it" and "let's circle back to that"

[japhy]

We have two new "initiatives" they are "Culture of Feedback" and "Core Culture".

The complaining about "getting more feedback" has been going on for a couple of decades. The thing that was true back then, is still true. Anyone complaining that they want "more feedback" is probably getting an adequate amount of appropriately negative feedback because they aren't doing their job well. What they really are asking for is some sort of performative positive feedback that would be inappropriate. The employees and younger partners who I deal with get feedback on a regular basis as part of working together on projects. It is informal and effective, because it happens in the moment. In does not wait for an annual form to be filled out and put in the HR file. Once during our annual corporate planning meeting we went around the table of principals giving our opinions on how to correct this "feedback problem" with a facilitator who was emceeing the event. My solution was to "fire everyone who said they wanted more feedback". The facilitator just stared at me, my partners gave out nervous laughs. In truth it would have worked. I will comply with the newest and greatest policy directive. My immediate group does enjoy seeing me bow down to policy and perform these tasks with a smiling face. It reminds them that no one is above the corporate law.

The concept of onboarding all of the new hires with a program that introduces them to our "core culture" was in an email I read (and deleted without response) in the last hour. We hired 70 employees in 2022 so there is legitimacy in the concept of onboarding them. In the list of "been here more than a decade" candidates who might be good to have be part of this initiative, my name did not come up once. See paragraph above, I think they have good reason for that.

[KUTradition]

“corporate culture” or “company DNA”

complete bs…gimme a fucking break, especially when you aren’t holding your employees to your purported standards

i’m biased, obviously

[ousdahl]

I tried to think of more then realized I was just remembering lines from Office Space

[pdub]

Acronyms in the biz can be annoying. There seems like there’s a new one to learn each week.

And often agencies will make up their own ie “does this give RTB?”.

Reason To Believe, duh.

[KUTradition]

Acronyms in the biz can be annoying. There seems like there’s a new one to learn each week.

And often agencies will make up their own ie “does this give RTB?”.

Reason To Believe, duh.

this shit is frustrating, especially when looking for jobs

[Mjl]

I'm super guilty of that. I mean, with tech, you see just get a lot of acronyms, that's unavoidable. But then I also use acronyms heavily to avoid typing more characters than needed.
And then it backfires when the person says "Sgtm? What does that mean?"

[DrPepper]

I am so sick of hearing "leverage" and "transformational." Apparently, every new initiative in the last 10 years leveraged something we were already doing to make transformational change.

[jfish26]

I live in the CorporateSpeak world (well, clients do, anyway). The one I presently hate the most is "cadence" when used to refer to process/progress.

This, also, gets at the form:

[KUTradition]

i used to love me some calvin and hobbs

[ChalkRocker]

This thread has been impactful for me. Makes me chuckle.

TY!