Full disclosure, my mom is 86 and currently in a "memory care facility" in St Louis and is in pretty good health for her age but hasn't known who anyone is, or where she is, for 5 years now. In her lucid moments she tells me she doesn't want to live like this and prays every night that she will die in her sleep.
Any thoughts? Personal experiences?Thousands of readers reacted to the articles in the “Dying Broke” series about the financial burden of long-term care in the United States. They offered their assessments for the government and market failures that have drained the lifetime savings of so many American families. And some offered possible solutions.
In more than 4,200 comments, readers shared their struggles in caring for spouses, older parents, and grandparents. They expressed anxieties about getting older themselves and needing help to stay at home or in institutions like nursing homes or assisted living facilities.
Many suggested changes to U.S. policy, like expanding the government’s payments for care and allowing more immigrants to stay in the country to help meet the demand for workers. Some even said they would rather end their lives than become a financial burden to their children.
Many readers blamed the predominantly for-profit nature of American medicine and the long-term care industry for depleting the financial resources of older people, leaving the federal-state Medicaid programs to take care of them once they were destitute.
“It is incorrect to say the money isn’t there to pay for elder care,” Jim Castrone, 72, a retired financial controller in Placitas, New Mexico, commented. “It’s there, in the form of profits that accrue to the owners of these facilities.”
“It is a system of wealth transference from the middle class and the poor to the owners of for-profit medical care, including hospitals and the long-term care facilities outlined in this article, underwritten by the government,” he added.
Other readers pointed to insurance policies that, despite limitations, had helped them pay for services. And some relayed their concerns that Americans were not saving enough and were unprepared to take care of themselves as they aged.
Insurance Policies Debated
Many, many readers said they could relate to problems with long-term care insurance policies, and their soaring costs. Some who hold such policies said they provided comfort for a possible worst-case scenario while others castigated insurers for making it difficult to access benefits.
“They really make you work for the money, and you’d better have someone available who can call them and work on the endless and ever-changing paperwork,” said Janet Blanding, 62, a technical writer in Fancy Gap, Virginia.
Derek Sippel, 47, a registered nurse in Naples, Florida, cited the $11,000 monthly cost of his mother’s nursing home care for dementia as the reason he bought a policy. He pays about $195 a month with a lifetime benefit of $350,000. “I may never need to use the benefit[s], but it makes me feel better knowing that I have it if I need it,” he said in his comment. He said he could not make that kind of money by investing on his own.
“It’s the risk you take with any kind of insurance,” he said. “I don’t want to be a burden on anyone.”
Questioning the Value of Life-Prolonging Procedures
A number of readers condemned the country’s medical culture for pushing expensive surgeries and other procedures that do little to improve the quality of people’s few remaining years.
Thomas Thuene, 60, a consultant in Boston’s Roslindale neighborhood, described how a friend’s mother who had heart failure was repeatedly sent from the elder care facility where she lived to the hospital and back, via ambulance. “There was no arguing with the care facility,” he said. “However, the moment all her money was gone, the facility gently nudged my friend to think of end-of-life care for his mother. It seems the financial ruin is baked into the system.”
Joan Chambers, 69, an architectural draftsperson in Southold, New York, said that during a hospitalization on a cardiac unit she observed many fellow patients “bedridden with empty eyes,” awaiting implants of stents and pacemakers.
“I realized then and there that we are not patients, we are commodities,” she said. “Most of us will die from heart failure. It will take courage for a family member to refuse a ‘simple’ procedure that will keep a loved one’s heart beating for a few more years, but we have to stop this cruelty.
“We have to remember that even though we are grateful to our health care professionals, they are not our friends. They are our employees and we can say no.”
One physician, James Sullivan, 64, in Cataumet, a neighborhood of Bourne, Massachusetts, said he planned to refuse hospitalization and other extraordinary measures if he suffered from dementia. “We spend billions of dollars, and a lot of heartache, treating demented people for pneumonia, urinary tract infections, cancers, things that are going to kill them sooner or later, for no meaningful benefit,” Sullivan said. “I would not want my son to spend his good years, and money, helping to maintain me alive if I don’t even know what’s going on,” he said.
Considering ‘Assisted Dying’
Others went further, declaring they would rather arrange for their own deaths than suffer in greatly diminished capacity. “My long-term care plan is simple,” said Karen Clodfelter, 54, a library assistant in St. Louis. “When the money runs out, I will take myself out of the picture.” Clodfelter said she helped care for her mother until her death at 101. “I’ve seen extreme old age,” she said, “and I’m not interested in going there.”
Some suggested that medically assisted death should be a more widely available option in a country that takes such poor care of its elderly. Meridee Wendell, 76, of Sunnyvale, California, said: “If we can’t manage to provide assisted living to our fellow Americans, could we at least offer assisted dying? At least some of us would see it as a desirable solution.”
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https://kffhealthnews.org/news/article/ ... home-care/
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